dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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