They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
