How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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