I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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