i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
