I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
