(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Your cock deserves a montage
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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