what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
