I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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