I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
