The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
