Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
