I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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