apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
