I just made out with a guy for $7.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
