Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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