hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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