i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
