At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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