I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
