ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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