Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
