I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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