Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Randomize
