I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
