Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
