I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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