it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
