He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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