my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
