you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
