i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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