Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
