you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
