I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my being single is dangerous.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We left the knife in your bed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
