Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize