If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
