it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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