She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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