I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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