This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize