dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
