I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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