the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
