I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
