I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
