I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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