she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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