I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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