hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
