Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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