Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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