I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
