I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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