Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
