I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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