You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
