if only i could text you this smell
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
