I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
