she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
