hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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