Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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