i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize