Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
