I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry about my life...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
