on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
