I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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