Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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