Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
